Xmas, part 1

It seems that all the family members thinks that I take too much food at events.  I can't really argue that one, because I think the same thing.  I worry at work functions that I have taken too much.  When I go the Tokyo One for the buffet, I usually wind up with more food than I can eat. I start out making a two-egg omelet and then wind up making a four-egg omelet, just because I thought that I felt that hungry.  I get four tacos, or six, from Jack In The Box, instead of the two for .99 that would satisfy most everyone else, because that's what I'm hungry for.  I remember once at 22 when I ate two Gourmet Budget meals at one sitting.  About halfway through the second one, I was full, however I kept eating.  I threw up right after the last bite because I kept eating, not wanting to have to throw away any of it.  I think that I've been this way since I was eight and stating taking what was available at the time, adult blood pressure medicines.  Anyone that has an mother or uncle whose weight shot up after starting BP meds knows something of which I speak.  One of the 5 common side effects of many medicines are weight gain.  Couple that with no self control and there is where my eating habit came from.  If I had actually tried to follow some diet, I might have learned what portions to actually eat, however I have never tried full-fledge diets, because I know that I'll give in, or never be satisfied with having to deprive myself.

 

This is part of the reason that Jr does not want to be my coach: he does not think that I can control my eating, only eating what has been dictated.  I really don't blame him. 

 

At this point, I'm at a total loss as to what to do.  I've planned to not take anything home from future family functions, however that doesn't cover other things.  How do I control myself when I have absolutely no control?

 

 

Monica P. Collins

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